PENSAMIENTOS

While Marty was visiting, she suggested that I write in my blog some more personal reflections on my experience here, so I'll give it a try.

By this time, a little over 2 months into my stay here, I am feeling more acclimated. I know my way around El Centro very well and don't need to carry a map around any more. However, language is still a problem, and that is what I'm going to talk about..... the difficulties of immersing oneself in a foreign culture and learning the language. My spanish has definitely improved, but I still usually feel on the periphery of experiences, conversations and relationships. Of course, I realize that in my life, I have often FELT a bit of an outsider, and I think that is being compounded in this experience where I actually AM an outsider.

I can express thoughts and requests, etc . as long as they are not too complicated, and I can understand people when they speak directly to me, although sometimes I have to ask them to repeat or speak more slowly. But when I am with a group, and people are speaking among themselves, it is practically impossible to follow the conversation. I can usually get an idea of what they are talking about, but not the details which means I can't really participate.

I have been to some very interesting events... a couple of plays, a movie in spanish and a movie in italian with spanish subtitles. And there too I can follow the general plot and all, but I miss the subtleties, the little phrases that add depth and emotion to the story. The same when I read stories in spanish. I try to just read without stopping every few sentences to look up a word in the dictionary, and I can get a general idea but again I miss the delicious little details.

I'm reminded of my experience as a child when I put on my first pair of glasses at the age of 8. I am quite nearsighted, and had probably been needing glasses for years before someone noticed. In those days, kids didn't automatically get tested for stuff like that as they do now. When I put on my new glasses for the first time, I was stunned, amazed and fascinated to find out that trees were not just green fuzzy things and grass was not just green fuzzy stuff on the ground. There were actually beautifully shaped and defined leaves and very sharp and pointy blades of grass!! So I am hoping that eventually my language skills will improve to the point where I have 20/20 understanding.

In the meantime, I do have some pretty amusing experiences. I was browsing in a store recently and the owner struck up a conversation with me in spanish. He, of course, realized that spanish was not my own language and asked me what WAS my language, and I told him I was from the U.S. He asked me where in the U.S., and I answered "Vermont", and I could tell from his expression , he had no idea where that was (many people here understandably have never heard of Vermont -- California, Texas, Chicago, New York, yes -- but not Vermont). So I explained (in spanish)that it was in the north near Canada and that it was very cold there. He said, "oh yes, I saw a movie .... with the ex-wife of Tom Cruise..who was that?" And I said, and god knows how I pulled this out of some dusty archive of my brain, "you mean Nicole Kidman?" And he said "Yes, that's it... and it was about the civil war." (remember this is all in spanish) And I say, "Oh you mean "Cold Mountain" (again, how did I remember this?).... that took place in Virginia, I believe, not Vermont"."Oh", he said, "well, it was a great movie". "A great book, too", I said and went along my way, grinning to myself.